Between the Sheets with She Said Yes – Sleep & Sex

Bed is BAE.

There is literally nowhere I would rather be. Sex, sleep, pillow talk, bedtime stories… did I mention sleep? Today’s intimate topic is all about the bedroom – secrets to a long, happy (and sexy) marriage, getting your beauty sleep, and waking up well rested and ready to slay another day. What more could you want?

Unfortunately, I don’t always have the best relationship with bed… and I know I’m not alone.

Bed = Sex + Sleep

Doing anything else in bed teaches your brain that your bed is for things other than sleep and sex, making it harder to relax at night to get to sleep, and weakening the association between bed and sex, making it less likely you’re going to feel like being intimate.

Turn Likes Into Love-Making

Like many of you, my “night-light” is all too often the blue-light emitted from my phone.  These glowing devices not only tamper with the natural release of melatonin, but they’re also a major sex inhibitor. Watching your partner scroll social-media at night is not sexy, yet about 95 percent of us use our electronic devices immediately before we try to get to sleep.

Turn likes into love-making by having a social media curfew that begins the moment you enter your bedroom at night.

Bad Sheets could be Sabotaging your Sex Life

As a single girl, a trip down the sheeting aisle would be a magpie search for candy pinks, pretty florals, and even sequins… Funnily, actually, Blair once cut his face on a sequinned pillow adorning my bed. The thing is… just like discovering a new love interest still sleeps in Star Wars sheets… or worse… their favourite sports team… having too-pretty, cutesy linens can be a major turn-off. Likewise, old, stained and faded sheets aren’t conducive to a good night either.

When it comes to getting busy between the sheets, the linen itself could be a major dealbreaker. You spend nearly a third of your life, so why not make it the most relaxing and comfortable spot in your home?

Just in time for Blair’s return home, New Zealand company Logan & Mason invited me to style the ultimate bedroom with a luxurious new duvet cover, bed linen and accessories. I found it really hard not to go for the prettiest thing I could find (Peony Blush – I’m not exaggerating, it is BEAUTIFUL,)  BUT I think I settled on the perfect compromise between classic, crisp white and feminine chic… Wild Strawberry patterned on one side, contrasting cotton matelasse on the other – and not the least bit emasculating!

The Truth about Beauty Sleep

If headlines like “Too little sleep makes you less attractive” don’t scare you into slumber, sleep on this: During the night, your body actually repairs the damage done throughout the day. The products you use at night are really important, it’s when creams and serums are most effective.

I have recently had the absolute pleasure of being among the first in New Zealand to try Dermalogica’s brand new Sound Sleep Cocoon (revealed today and on sale soon!). Let’s just say, I want more.

It’s a revitalizing treatment gel-cream which optimizes skin recovery overnight. Persian Silk Tree extract penetrates deeply into the skin to reduce signs of skin fatigue and restores vitality while Wu-Zhu-Yu, a Chinese medicinal herb, provides visibly radiant skin by morning. Oh, and it *smells* amazing, with French Lavender essential oil, sandalwood and patchouli, it is just what I need to feel snoozy (and wake up prettier!)

Pillow Talk

Couples who discuss good news before bed sleep better, have more sex, and live longer. As Blair and I spend around half our nights apart, it’s so important that when we are both home, we make an effort to share that time together. While most of us know the benefits of sharing our worries and stresses with each other to relieve anxiety, recent studies show that sharing even small details of good news increases intimacy within relationships.

For Blair and I, as often as possible, we go through a couple of pages of I still do, talking about the positives, negatives, our successes, struggles, goals and more.

Yes, there’s even a sealed SEX section. Because, you know… you should talk about it!!

Sanctuary in Style

At the risk of repeating myself, you need is a bedroom that will help you relax and reduce the stress of the day. Design your bedroom in a way that will make you feel good – a place to dream and loosen up. The central point of your room is your bed, and when it comes to style, layering is key and texture is king! Throws, bed runners… the works. If you opt for crisp white sheets, add colour and texture with a waffle throw. It’ll instantly make your instagram flatlays 10 x more glamorous, too. Sold. I added the ‘Cornell‘ woven cushions in white, and delicious waffle blanket.

Mmm… waffles.

Bedtime Stories!

This wouldn’t be a very good ‘bedtime’ story without a few stories of our own. I’m sure Blair won’t mind me sharing some of our intimate moments.

  1. When we first got together for the second time, he was living in Tauranga and me in Christchurch, so it took ages for us to finally lock in our first date! I kept nagging him to give me a good time to book flights (so, nothing’s changed) and he kept delaying. I thought he was playing hard to get. I later found out it was because he had been sleeping on a blow-up mattress and was saving to buy a bed before I came (presumptuous much!?)
  2. Blair loves telling this one 😉 The first bed we ever shared was a little, ahem… rickety. It used to fall apart without much encouragement, one side collapsing under its occupant’s weight, making it easy to fall out of bed. One night, fast asleep (of course) and none-the-wiser, I’d got a little too close to Blair and as he moved further and further away from me, all the weight went to his side of the bed, which he promptly fell off, knocking the side-table and causing a glass of water to fall on his head. I slept through it.
  3. OMFG this one is SO embarrassing, I can’t believe I’m even going to tell you. SO, we were in Paris, quite recently, and I had *just* that day confirmed Paris stockist Rime Arodaky for the little white book. We had also just that moment arrived at a new hotel, so I grabbed the Champagne and asked Blair to take a photo of me jumping on the bed before we made a mess of the room. He couldn’t be bothered, so instead I set up the camera on a tripod, attached it to the back of a chair and put it on self-timer (obviously!) I jumped up and down with the camera on timer til I was totally exhausted and the bed was completely messed up. There was a knock at the door so I sat down – and as the porter was bringing in our luggage he looked between me (in a robe), to the (ruffled-up) bed, to the camera on a tripod, attached to a chair and facing directly at the bed… 5 minutes after arrival, and the look on his face said it all…

ANYWAY, just to prove that we weren’t filming an amateur movie, here’s the photo, and that’s probably all I should share of our bedroom stories!

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