“It’s your big day”; “Do whatever makes you happy – it’s your day!”; and “It’s all about you!”
Now, I’m not here to rain on your parade, but I must disagree. IMHO at least, your wedding is not all about you.
- Yes, you (the two of you, remember?) are the centre of attention…
- Yes, you can (mostly) tell everyone what to do, and they’ll probably do it!
I digress. Your wedding guests are the most special people in your life. You’ve invited them to be present to witness and celebrate what may be the most special day in your life, and that does not make your wedding guests the extras in ‘Your Big Wedding’ movie.
Don’t lose sight of the commitment they are also making to you – of their time and money, to say the least. More importantly, treat guests on your wedding day in a way that’s going to reinforce to them why they’re so important to you, and why you can rely on them.
I take the phrase ‘bear witness’ very seriously when it comes to weddings. When I accept an invitation to witness another couple’s wedding, I am giving my RSVP to be a part of their future lives and support their marriage, through whatever they end up going through. FYI, Ancient Roman law required 10 witnesses to be present at a wedding, which is considered a precursor to the bridal party tradition.
If I am there to witness their vows, I’m on the journey with them, I am also a shoulder to lean on, or cry on, and I’ll be there to lend an ear, at whatever point they need it during their marriage.
So pay respect to their investment in your lives, and don’t allow yourself to have ‘tunnel vision’ to the point that you disregard what makes your wedding enjoyable for your guests.
BUT…You can still make your Wedding ‘All About You’!
Your wedding day is a totally unique and special opportunity to bring your personality, character and personal style to life!
It’s a chance to tell your story, to share your quirks and peculiarities and give zero fucks about looking cool, sounding smart, or being worried about showing off your ‘unique’ dancing skills. Make your wedding ‘All About You‘ in all the right ways:
1) The Guest List
Ah, the wedding guest list. Writing your wedding guest list is likely to be one of the first tasks you do when you begin wedding planning. Finely balancing parental expectations, familial obligations and particular friend groups, while creating a list of the people you really, truly want to surround you on the day you’re dreaming of. Who’s smiling at you as you proceed the aisle, who’s laughing as you recall the first date dilemmas you experienced with your husband, and who’s carving up the D-floor at 3 AM at the unofficial after party well after the wedding venue closed.
Invite. Who. You. Want. PLEASE.
If your parents are financially contributing to your wedding and also to your guest list, reign them in, and offer to pay for it yourself if necessary, to ensure that those that make the cut are the ones you want there on your day, and in your lives thereafter. ‘Nuff said.
2) Make it Personal
Whether it’s having your favourite photo together on the save the dates, personalising your ceremony vows to suit the lives you envisage, or telling the story of your first experiences living together in your wedding speeches, make your wedding day all about you by making it personal. Make it about yourselves, make it unique – name the tables after your travels together or your shared hobbies, have your fur babies walk you down the aisle, and have your favourite colour as the wedding theme, if that what makes you feel good.
3) Fly Your (Weird) Flag Proudly
Play that funky music, dance like no-one’s watching, serve your favourite foods (brunch wedding anyone?) and wear whatever makes you feel pretty or handsome! Add your flair, fly your flag, make it fun. Be weird, be you.
It’s the personal things that make a wedding special and that guests will remember.
For more inspiration, see my curation of the best of etsy ways to make your wedding all about you!
Design a completely personalised backdrop which tells your story!
Inspired by friends’ recent nuptials where he’d made personalised coasters, these drink coasters add a great personal touch.
If you’re not fussed on having real flowers, buy felt blooms that will last forever?
Love wine, tell that story right the way through your wedding invitation and stationery suite!
If you’re getting married in a forest or love to spend time in the wilderness, add a rural element to your day with this personalised pine tree cake topper.
A thank you succulent so small we can hardly handle the cuteness!
These soaps are so cute it almost doesn’t seem weird that everyone will be scrubbing their bodies down with your initials.
Book lover? I love this clever take on the guest “book”. Frame it after the wedding for a cute reminder of all those who wish you and your groom the best.
For more colour, arrange these cute bottle beauties all together for a vivid accent piece or spread them out as centerpieces.
While you’re getting things personalises, how about these necklaces for your bridesmaids…
…and for your groomsmen: personalised corkscrews!
Let me know what else you’re doing to personalise your wedding, making it all about you in all the right ways!