After the Wedding: 10 reasons why it’s 10x better to be married than engaged!

Phew, what a day year!

Was it everything you hoped it would be? Did your face hurt from pashing smiling for all those photos? I hope it really was the best day of your life, but I hope even more-so that it was only the best day of your life thus far.

My dear newlywed, now you can relax (no, I don’t mean you can let yourself go and get fat), because when you made that transition from fiance to wife, you didn’t just get some extra bling and a new surname…

18 months on, here’s my top 10 reasons why it’s 10 x better to be married than engaged!

You get to be really, truly selfish

When people say your wedding is “all about you” what they really mean is it’s all about you and the enjoyment of your wedding guests. What will they be doing post-ceremony, will they have enough to drink, next to whom shall we seat them, will they like these music genres, will they have enough to eat, what if we run out of their wine of choice…???

It’s wonderful to be able to cater for, entertain and celebrate with your most treasured people, but after the wedding you’ll really appreciate how nice it is to make decisions which suit just. the. two. of. you!

You become a fountain of wisdom

Never mind Lord of the Rings, it’s the new bling on your left hand that wields the power, because from Miss to Mrs you also became all-knowing-wife.

Just wait and see how many people ask for your wedding planning advice and honeymoon suggestions, where did you buy your incredible wedding jewellery, or how to achieve the perfect crust to a quiche (google that one).

Yes, like all the women you asked when you first got engaged, you know hold the answers to life’s great wedding planning questions, so go forth and share, oh wise one.

Patience, young grasshopper

You’re rich!!!

If you didn’t notice your wedding budget weilding a hole in your money bucket, you’ll definitely notice how much more money you have now that you’re not spending it on favours and flowers and other frivolous frilly things!

Oh wait, before you go and spend it all on something ludicrous like a house, you need to buy one more thing.

You’re safe! You can ice-skate, horse-ride, skate-board, and SUNBATHE to your heart’s content!

Please say it wasn’t just me who worried about grievously injuring myself, or at the worst bruising and burning myself, in the last few months leading up to our wedding? I had nightmares of walking up the aisle in a moon-boot, or worse, a neck-brace, not to mention how careful I had to be in summer of 15/16 not to get a halter-neck tan!

Skate on, dude!

Okay, you can let go a little…

Not that you lost weight especially for your wedding (right!?), but you no longer have to consider whether this pie is going to prevent you fitting that beautiful custom-fit and tightly corsetted gown.

Note – don’t let yourself go, or you’ll look back on your wedding photos with anxiety because you don’t look as good (also a great reason not to lose weight for your wedding). Also, note to self, never order anything that’s custom fit and tightly corsetted.

You feel a sense of belonging and security

While I’m steadfastly independent, and autonomous to a fault, there’s something about being married that made me feel incredible secure. I feel like I ‘belong’ to someone (and he belongs to me), like we’re really truly bound, that those promises were real, meaningful and forever. No matter how annoying I am.

You can legitimately stay in on a Saturday night

Whether you use “we’re newlyweds… we’re still in the honeymoon period” or the more realistic “we’re an old married couple already”, either excuse will buy you ample Saturday nights in, drinking your own wine… choosing your own music… and not lining up down Ponsonby Road for the opportunity to dance to Max Key’s latest hit.

You get to say “My Husband” and sound really grown up!

“Boyfriend” just doesn’t cut it after 10 years together, while “Partner” had weird connotations for me, given that I was working as a lawyer and my “Partners” were also my bosses and varying degrees of old.

Being able to refer to your “husband” also makes you sound wise and mature, which of course you totally are now that you’re married.

You actually begin to love them more… for all their faults…

Perhaps it’s related to that sense of security and belonging, but now that we “belong” together and he’s “mine”, his bad habits and terrible singing-voice are also “mine”, and I’m more accepting of them. They’re not going away, so you’d better get used to them, get over them, or get around to loving them.

You can plan (and begin) the rest of your lives, not just one day!

With all the hype that goes into planning your wedding, there’s a huge focus on this one BIG day, almost at the expense of all else. That can’t be right! Beyond that one day lies the rest of your lives, and while wedding planning takes priority during your engagement, there’s something pretty magical and special in thinking about and planning the rest of your lives. When you’re ready to begin writing your next chapter, get your hands on I still do.