What to do if you Secretly don’t like your Engagement Ring

what to do if you secretly don't like your engagement ring

For most of us engaged and married women, it will always be one of our most valued possessions, but what on earth are you supposed to do if you secretly don’t like your engagement ring?

A huge part of the excitement and anticipation of your proposal is seeing the engagement ring he chooses, a very personal decision he’s made which reflects his vision of you and your personal style and taste. However much you love him (or her), though, how often would you really let our partners choose what you wear (let alone what you wear every day!).

There are many different ways that an engagement ring is chosen. Often, the man will go shopping alone, to maintain the element of surprise. However, many will have no idea of what engagement ring you actually want to wear – their priority is to propose to start a life with you, and they may not choose what you envisaged as your  ‘perfect’ ring.

Say Yes to the Engagement without saying Yes to the Ring 

If you aren’t in love with your engagement ring, don’t panic – you’re not alone. There are several reasons why your engagement ring may not be the perfect ‘fit’ for you.

To start with, for most couples, an engagement ring is a very expensive purchase. The ring you receive may be the most your partner could afford to spend – especially in anticipation of having a wedding to pay for. Some may have no budget concerns, but have just made the wrong guess or assumption about your style and taste.

For others, they may ask you to marry them with an inherited engagement ring. Heirloom engagement rings are often passed down from parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. There is a nice sentimentality that someone you love has worn the ring before you, and now you will continue the tradition, celebrating your new love. Any piece of jewellery passed through the family will be of the utmost significance, representing years of love and tradition. However, these rings, depending on their vintage, can become outdated and not be the style of ring that you have dreamed about wearing for the rest of your life. For example, my Mum’s engagement ring was predominately sapphire, whereas I’ve always dreamed about my ring being a diamond.

If you secretly don’t like your engagement ring, you may feel as though you’re in an awkward position, especially if it’s a family heirloom, but a badly-chosen style, or outdated vintage piece can easily be changed.

An engagement ring is a piece of jewellery that is worn every day, and it is a symbol of your love and commitment to each other – so it’s understandably important that you love your ring.

If you Secretly Don’t Like it, Update and Redesign your Engagement Ring

Even if you have been gifted an engagement ring you love, it is not uncommon for your tastes to change over time, especially when it comes to jewellery. If you get engaged when you are younger, the ring may not have the same appeal as you age. There is no rule which says you have to wear the same engagement ring  for your entire marriage.

Rather than just shop for a new ring, though, a nice thing to do is to update and redesign your old ring. This is also a great option if you have been given an heirloom ring which isn’t quite your style.

There are many ways to transform a dated engagement ring into a special one-of-a-kind piece to suit your taste, while also keeping its sentiment value. I spoke to Nicola of The Diamond Shop about how she goes about the special task of updating your engagement or even your wedding ring. She is easily able to design your existing ring or other heirloom jewellery into something that is more suited to you, without taking away from its special and emotional attachment.

If your heirloom engagement ring is deteriorating slightly, or needs fixing, this is another good reason to update and redesign your ring.  It can be a complex process for jewellers as they need the ring to look untouched, however it is definitely possible, and worth the effort for something as precious as an engagement or wedding ring. Nicola has also been able to combine two rings into one, turn family pieces or antique rings into a completely new piece of unique jewellery, or even create rings from scratch using precious stones.

How can you tell your partner you want to redesign your engagement ring?

The hardest thing about the entire process may be broaching the question with your partner. Nicola recommends an ideal way to do this is by coming in store to have a look at your potential wedding bands, and talk to her about the kind of style you’d like. From there, Nicola can make recommendations on how to update, redesign and remake your ring, and importantly, help you navigate the conversation with your loved one without causing offence.

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