Engagement 101: Before you Start Wedding Planning

Congratulations, you’ve just begun one of the most exciting times in your life, your engagement!


Before you Start Wedding Planning

The next few months are going to be incredibly fun, as you start to think about and  plan your dream day. Before you start wedding planning, though, take a few weeks of calm. The magic of your partner proposing, and you agreeing to marry him or her, is a time worth enjoying and celebrating. Your engagement is a symbolic moment, as your relationship changes for eternity – you have chosen to marry, and thus commit to a lifetime with this person.

What does that mean to you? What significance does marriage have to you, in terms of family values, or or committing yourselves to the world as one.

Engagement 101: First Things First

I suggest that the first thing you do as a newly engaged bride-to-be (or groom-to-be) is take note of your feelings – start a wedding diary, or make notes in your journal if you haven’t bought a wedding planner/organiser yet. Write about your proposal – the moment you agreed to marry him or her, the planning that went into the occasion, whether you had any idea, how you felt, and how you celebrated.

Announcing your Engagement

You don’t have to announce your engagement right away – don’t be in a rush. It might be nice to enjoy the news between the two of you and your immediate families first, because as soon as you do, these annoying engagement questions begin (you’ve been warned). Even if you can’t wait to share your happy news with everyone, ensure to tell your VIPs first, and decide as a couple how you want to share with everyone else. Personally, I told Blair I didn’t want to share our engagement for a few days, but moments later I was too excited and had to call all my closest friends. We announced our engagement online a few days later.

Talk Amongst Yourselves

Before discussing your wedding plans and priorities with your families and friends, discuss amongst yourselves any particular visions you want. Consider whether you want your parents’ input, in terms of financial contributions, whether you’re also going to let them invite their closest friends too, and how much ‘help’ you want towards decision-making and planning. One of the hardest thing about wedding planning is often negotiating and managing family relationships and expectations, so discuss and agree with your partner before you cross that bridge. Read also Dealing with Momzilla and Prioritising your Budget.

Remind yourselves what your Engagement (and Wedding) is Really About

Notions of “getting married” or planning a “wedding” often conjures pictures of Hollywood style/Royal Wedding celebrations, as well as everything you’ve ever seen on Pinterest. A gentle reminder… that is not necessarily what weddings are about! Styled shoots, wedding magazines and other visual inspiration can be a great source of inspiration, but can also cause pressure and unrealistic expectations. Your wedding is not a photoshoot, it’s a celebration of your love and commitment. Don’t feel the pressure to mindlessly ‘tick’ all the boxes and plan a wedding according to what you think it’s supposed to look like, or what the ‘average’ wedding budget is. Plan a wedding that’s just right for you, however small and simple. I suggest reading The life changing magic of Wedding Planning too!


If you haven’t already responded to the pop-up, head here to subscribe and join the ‘Bride Tribe’! She Said Yes will be your new wedding BFF, helping you get organised and inspired for the big day. I’ll be something of a virtual bridesmaid, you can follow along (Facebook & Instagram) and email me if you have any questions.

A couple of years ago I created the little white book, it’s since been voted the best wedding planner book, so have a look and read the reviews. As well as getting helpful wedding planning emails, you can also go straight to the index for whatever you need, but I do recommend you take some time for yourselves first.

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