Once he (or she) has popped the question, it’s all love, laughter, and happily ever after – right?! A time to celebrate, to party, to have fun planning the wedding day you’ve always dreamed of!
So what if it’s not actually as amazing as you imagined… and you’re not having as much fun wedding planning as you feel like you’re supposed to? Everyone says this is the happiest time of your life, yet you are feeling so overwhelmed by the stress of the whole wedding planning process that you:
- Can’t sleep and feel exhausted all the time!
- Are constantly worried and concerned about forgetting everything that needs to get done.
- Can’t seem to find the motivation to even try to do it, let alone the time.
- Find yourself getting angry with everyone over the smallest things.
Let us take a load off. She Said Yes is your virtual bridesmaid – here to help you through all of that. Though women are practically born multi-taskers, when it comes to planning our wedding day there are all sorts of hidden stresses and expectations and – often without realising – we are gradually sucked into an emotional vortex, attempting more daily tasks than any human could or should fit into a day. Given the social pressures around wedding planning, and the personal pressures we impose ourselves, it’s no wonder many of us really turn into the feared Bridezilla.
We’re here to change all that. In fact, that’s exactly how She Said Yes got started. Newly engaged, it all seemed sooooo complicated, soooooo time-consuming, sooooooo shrouded in complexity, SOOOOOOO damn hard. I’ll let you in on a little secret right now. It’s not. Wedding planning is only as difficult and stressful as you let it be.
Armed with your virtual bridesmaid by your side, and perhaps a little white book in your hands, you’re set to survive the stress and plan your perfect day without a cost to your mental health.
- Ask yourself what’s really important to you – Don’t feel obliged to go along with every wedding obligation, expectation and expense just because it’s the ‘done thing’. Write down all the things which are most important to you – set your priorities – and the reflect not just on what’s on the list, but what’s nowhere near the list. If you didn’t write down lazer-cut lace stationery, overflowing vases of peonies, hand-carved wedding favours or even something so common as ‘wedding cake’, ask yourself whether you really want any of those things at your wedding. Start with what you really want, find the cost for and/or organise all of those things, and then, and only then (and if wedding budget allows) consider all the other things.
- Just breathe – it may seem like the most obvious thing but sometimes with everything else going on, we forget to take a moment and really breathe. Take deep, full-body breaths, every day – and every time you begin to feel anxious. Consider enrolling into a yoga or pilates class where you can learn how to breathe into the tummy. If that seems like another chore and doesn’t appeal, try this breathing technique at home: ‘Pranayama’ – the ancient yoga breathing technique that teaches you the art of extending your breath and allows you to maximise inhaling fresh oxygen while helping to calm the mind and increase concentration. This technique is effective even during a busy schedule by practicing for just 10 minutes each day in the comfort of your own home.
- Write it down: The little white book is the perfect place to ‘get it all out’ – worries, frustrations, ideas, deadlines, appointments and constant distractions can crowd our minds with endless thoughts and never ending mental to-do lists. Even if it’s as simple as the thought of changing your lipstick colour for your big day, write it all down and free up your mind. This will help you get through it all, while reminding you to enjoy the little things. Having the little white book on hand will also ensure you can’t forget to organise anything, because it’s all right there in front of you, with checklists reminding you at regular intervals throughout your countdown diary – so you can stop worrying about forgetting!
- Nourish your body – you won’t have the energy to complete all of these tasks if you aren’t fuelling your body with the right nutrients and staying hydrated. Start your morning with a nutritious, healthy breakfast every day, and keep it up during the day. Even if you sit down at your desk with some tea and fruit while you continue your planning. If you’re under any kind of stress or pressure with wedding planning, it’s not the best time to go on a restrictive diet – not that there’s ever a good time to do so. You will look just as beautiful in your wedding dress at your current weight than you would a few kilos lighter (with bags under your eyes and dry, colourless skin and brittle hair and nails from poor nutrition).
- Remember to dream – and I’m not talking about dreaming about the expensive dress you saw in that magazine, but real beauty sleep. Running on too many sleepless nights will eventually take it’s toll not just physically but mentally too. Adults should be sleeping at least 7-8 hours a night for optimal energy, so write down your thoughts, have a warm shower or try some lavender oil and breathe deep to really help your body switch off.
- Remember why you’re on this journey, it’s not just to ‘get married’, it’s to celebrate the bond you and your partner have and to commit to a life together. Enjoy the process, appreciate the journey as well as the destination, embrace the moments of challenge as preparing you for many other challenges you’ll face in your very long lives together, and learn to laugh at yourself and the mistakes along the way.
Image Credit: Brides Love Yoga